31 Funny Workplace Jokes To Lighten Up The Office (That Won't Send You To HR)
Having jokes at the tip of your tongue can help ease tension, make work less of a grind and make the day pass quicker.
Work-life can often be stressful, especially when deadlines are looming and projects are dragging on. But, workplace jokes are made for times like these.
Having jokes at the tip of your tongue can help ease tension, make work less of a grind and make the day pass quicker. Everyone likes to laugh, and it's even better if that laughter can be appreciated across age groups and cultures.
Workplace jokes aren't just for fun and comic relief; they are also beneficial to improving workplace morale and productivity.
So, in the spirit of lightening up our workplace, here are 31 work jokes to share, whether it's a time of high stress or just a time to break the monotony.
Lunchtime jokes are suitable for casual and relaxed gatherings with co-workers. For those times at work when there's a need to diffuse the tension in the air with a joke or a funny short story. And you begin with, 'Wanna hear a joke?'
Here are some of our favorites:
- I asked if I could leave work early the other day, and the boss said, "yes, if I made up the time." I said, "sure, it's twenty past fourteen."
- Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
- A man walks into a bar, and it's empty - it's just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink.
He hears someone whisper, "Pssst...I like your tie." The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.
"Pssst...that color looks nice on you."
He asks the bartender, "Excuse me, but...are you speaking to me?"
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, "No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts... they're complimentary."
- Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" *Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students here!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny, you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
- Two antennas decided to get married, the ceremony was pretty boring, but the reception was great!
- Phil walks into his boss's office one day and says, "Sir, I'll be honest with you. I know the economy isn't great, but I've got three companies after me, and I'd like to ask for a raise, respectfully." After a few minutes of haggling, the boss finally agrees to give him a 5 percent raise, and he happily gets up to leave. "By the way," the boss asks as Phil leaves his office, "which three companies are after you?" Phil replies, "The electric company, water company, and phone company."
- You know what they say about a clean desk? It's a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
- What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
- I phoned a call center today, and it said all the advisors were engaged. I was delighted for them, but my fridge is still broken.
- Why did you leave your last job? The company relocated and didn’t tell me where.
Icebreaker Jokes for Meetings
Whether in-person or remote, we can all agree that work meetings can often get intense.
Managers can break the ice with stories, jokes, or even icebreaker questions to help team members feel more at ease. And when in doubt, you can always use an Icebreaker Flow.
When sharing jokes, it's best to blend 'why' jokes or 'knock, knock' jokes with others, so that as more people attempt to guess the answers to the questions, the more relaxed they would feel.
Here are some to get you started:
- What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why don't scientists trust Atoms? They make up everything.
- Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was two-tired.
- Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field.
- A hungry lion is chasing a scientist and a philosopher. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, "It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!" The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, "I'm not trying to outrun the lion. I'm trying to outrun you!"
- What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved at each other.
- The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is quite an interesting time to talk business."
- Standing in front of the shredder, the new employee looked a little confused so a supervisor offered to help.
Supervisor: 'Are you okay?'
New Employee: 'I'm trying to get this thing to work?'
Supervisor: She takes the wad of paper from his hands and feeds it through.
New Employee: 'Oh great, thanks! But, where do I get the copies from?'
- The boss asked Mark to start the presentation with a joke. He shared his paycheck as the first slide.
- Employer: We need someone responsible for the job.
Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
- Boss: Can you work this weekend? Me: Yeah, no worries, but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends. Boss: What time will you get here? Me: Monday.
Jokes to share with your work buddies
When sharing jokes with workplace buddies, it's okay to share inside jokes and adult jokes when you're sure about their sense of humor. Also, the jokes don't always need to be about work.
Here are some you can share:
- I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
- I couldn’t work today because of an eye problem. I just can’t see myself working today.
- The boss says, "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?"
Me: That it's only Wednesday?
- I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
- I went for a job interview. The interviewer told me I'd start on $2,000 a month, and then after six months, I'd be on $2,500 a month. I told them I would start in 6 months.
- An employee had a conversation with the boss.
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well, there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma's funeral, she called the office looking for you.
- My annual performance review says I lack "passion and intensity." I guess management hasn't seen me alone with a Big Mac.
- My boss told me that there's no such thing as 'problems', only opportunities.
I said: 'That's great. Well, I have a serious drinking opportunity.'
- HR manager: 'Just go to hell!'
Me: 'So, should I stay or leave? I'm confused.'
- My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I can't continue this way; we need to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
Ready to share some workplace humor?
The modern workplace has seen the rise of various unique work cultures and personalities - from startup geeks to overworked techies. Finding the appropriate workplace jokes and ice breakers to share with your co-workers will depend on your work and the personalities of the people on your team. Use the Icebreaker Flow to lighten the mood at work and bring some fun.
Every workplace has its unique blend of drab and comical situations, and many employees often have lots of good stories. So, while this list isn't exhaustive, we think these jokes will hit the right notes when the time comes for those much-needed laughs.