31 Funny Workplace Jokes To Lighten Up The Office (That Won't Send You To HR)

Having jokes at the tip of your tongue can help ease tension, make work less of a grind and make the day pass quicker.

April 22, 2022
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There are 300 more icebreaker questions at the bottom of the article
How would you describe your job to a five year old?
What season would you be?
What is a weird food you have tried? Would you eat it again?
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Would you go in the mother-ship with aliens if they landed on Earth tomorrow?
What is your favorite season?
Do prefer working from home or the office?
What is your earliest memory of this job?
What is the best thing you have bought so far this year?
What is the earliest book you remember?
If you had to move to another country, which one would you choose?
You are the best criminal mastermind in the world. What crime would you commit if you knew you would get away with it?
What is your favorite movie genre to watch?
What was the last thing you ate?
What person from history would you add to Mount Rushmore?
What is a weird fact you know?
What is your favorite part of working from home?
Were the Spice Girls a good team?
Imagine you can instantly learn any language. Which would you choose?
If you could live in any state, which state would you pick?
Which fictional team is the best team of all time?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
What do you usually eat for a quick lunch?
What simple food will you never eat?
Show us the weirdest thing you have in the room with you right now.
Would you rather stay at a hotel or an AirBNB?
What is your favorite movie genre to watch?
Are you more productive in the morning or at night?
Who is someone in your community that makes a difference?
Who was your most unique pet?
Choose one famous person from history you want on your team during a zombie apocalypse.
What is a good way to give back to the community?
Which song could you listen to over and over again?
Is Hugh Grant funny?
What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
Would you want to have an imaginary friend today? Did you have one as a child?
What actor or actress would you want to play you in the movie about your life?
What is the best super power?
What is your New Years resolution?
You can only eat one food again for the rest of your life. What is it?
What is the best work holiday?
What is the first gift you remember receiving?
Would you rather join Metallica or Backstreet Boys?
What is the best example of a community you have seen?
What is an easy way to do something nice for someone?
Show us your phone background and tell the story behind why you picked this image.
What was your first job?
Pick any band to play at your funeral.
If you could have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what would you pick?
Which superpower would you give to your arch enemy?
What is the most obscure superpower you would want?
What emoji best describes how you are feeling right now?
If you could live in any country, which country would you pick?
Would you rather live in a city or a town?
What is your favorite holiday?
What is something you accomplished as part of a team?
What is your standard office lunch?
What is your most used phone app?
What is your favorite season?
Have you ever won something as a team?
Imagine you are a professional baseball player. What is your introduction song?
Beach holiday or ski trip?
Have you ever been to a funny comedy show?
Would you rather live at the North Pole or the South Pole?
What is your favorite song to sing?
If you could live in any state, which state would you pick?
Imagine you could teleport anywhere. Where would you go right now?
What is the most unusual job you have heard of?
What was the last thing you ate?
You can visit any fictional time or place. Which would you pick?
What do your family and friends think you do all day?
What movie do you wish you could watch again for the first time?
Show us your most-used emoji.
What was the most unique style or fashion trend you ever embraced?
What movie defined your generation?
You are stranded on a remote desert island. Are you alone or with your worst enemy?
What is your favorite knock-knock joke?
Have you ever told someone Santa is not real?
Do you know how to speak more than one language?
On a scale of 1 – 10, how much of a team player are you?
What is your #1 recommendation in this city?
What is your favorite holiday?
What bucket list item do you most want to check off in the next six months?
What is your favorite mythical creature?
What was the first way you made money?
If you could be great at any Olympic sport, which would it be?
Which song could you listen to over and over again?
When did you start liking/hating mushrooms?
Where is your favorite vacation spot?
Do you take your PTO all at one time, or another way?
Which show do you remember most from your childhood?
Which beverage goes best with pizza?
Would you want to have a personal assistant follow you around everywhere and do what you asked of them?
Have you ever met your idol?
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Would you rather live 100 years in the past or 100 years in the future?
What is your hobby?
When you are alone in the car, what volume is the music at?
Imagine you no longer have to work. How would you spend a Tuesday?
What is your favorite type of sandwich?

Work-life can often be stressful, especially when deadlines are looming and projects are dragging on. But, workplace jokes are made for times like these.

Having jokes at the tip of your tongue can help ease tension, make work less of a grind and make the day pass quicker. Everyone likes to laugh, and it's even better if that laughter can be appreciated across age groups and cultures.

Workplace jokes aren't just for fun and comic relief; they are also beneficial to improving workplace morale and productivity.

So, in the spirit of lightening up our workplace, here are 31 work jokes to share, whether it's a time of high stress or just a time to break the monotony.

Lunchtime jokes

Lunchtime jokes are suitable for casual and relaxed gatherings with co-workers. For those times at work when there's a need to diffuse the tension in the air with a joke or a funny short story. And you begin with, 'Wanna hear a joke?'

Here are some of our favorites:

  1. I asked if I could leave work early the other day, and the boss said, "yes, if I made up the time." I said, "sure, it's twenty past fourteen."
  1. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
  1. A man walks into a bar, and it's empty - it's just him and the bartender. He sits down and orders a drink.

He hears someone whisper, "Pssst...I like your tie." The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.

"Pssst...that color looks nice on you."

He asks the bartender, "Excuse me, but...are you speaking to me?"

The bartender rolls his eyes and says, "No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts... they're complimentary."

  1. Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" *Nobody stands up* 

Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students here!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny, you think you're stupid?" 

Little Johnny: "No, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

  1. Two antennas decided to get married, the ceremony was pretty boring, but the reception was great!
  1. Phil walks into his boss's office one day and says, "Sir, I'll be honest with you. I know the economy isn't great, but I've got three companies after me, and I'd like to ask for a raise, respectfully." After a few minutes of haggling, the boss finally agrees to give him a 5 percent raise, and he happily gets up to leave. "By the way," the boss asks as Phil leaves his office, "which three companies are after you?" Phil replies, "The electric company, water company, and phone company."
  1. You know what they say about a clean desk? It's a sure sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  1. What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
  1. I phoned a call center today, and it said all the advisors were engaged. I was delighted for them, but my fridge is still broken.
  1. Why did you leave your last job? The company relocated and didn’t tell me where.
Icebreaker Jokes for Meetings

Whether in-person or remote, we can all agree that work meetings can often get intense. 

Managers can break the ice with stories, jokes, or even icebreaker questions to help team members feel more at ease. And when in doubt, you can always use an Icebreaker Flow.

When sharing jokes, it's best to blend 'why' jokes or 'knock, knock' jokes with others, so that as more people attempt to guess the answers to the questions, the more relaxed they would feel. 

Here are some to get you started:

  1. What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
  1. Why don't scientists trust Atoms? They make up everything.
  1. Why couldn't the bike stand up? It was two-tired.
  1. Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field.
  1. A hungry lion is chasing a scientist and a philosopher. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, "It's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!" The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, "I'm not trying to outrun the lion. I'm trying to outrun you!"
  1. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved at each other.
  1. The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is quite an interesting time to talk business."
  1. Standing in front of the shredder, the new employee looked a little confused so a supervisor offered to help.

Supervisor: 'Are you okay?'

New Employee: 'I'm trying to get this thing to work?'

Supervisor: She takes the wad of paper from his hands and feeds it through.

New Employee: 'Oh great, thanks! But, where do I get the copies from?'

  1. The boss asked Mark to start the presentation with a joke. He shared his paycheck as the first slide.
  1. Employer: We need someone responsible for the job. 

Job Applicant: Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.

  1. Boss: Can you work this weekend? Me: Yeah, no worries, but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends. Boss: What time will you get here? Me: Monday.
Jokes to share with your work buddies

When sharing jokes with workplace buddies, it's okay to share inside jokes and adult jokes when you're sure about their sense of humor. Also, the jokes don't always need to be about work. 

Here are some you can share:

  1. I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
  1. I couldn’t work today because of an eye problem. I just can’t see myself working today.
  1. The boss says, "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?"

Me: That it's only Wednesday?

  1. I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
  1. I went for a job interview. The interviewer told me I'd start on $2,000 a month, and then after six months, I'd be on $2,500 a month. I told them I would start in 6 months.
  1. An employee had a conversation with the boss. 

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?

Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.

Boss: Well, there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma's funeral, she called the office looking for you.

  1. My annual performance review says I lack "passion and intensity." I guess management hasn't seen me alone with a Big Mac.
  1. My boss told me that there's no such thing as 'problems', only opportunities.

I said: 'That's great. Well, I have a serious drinking opportunity.'

  1. HR manager: 'Just go to hell!'

Me: 'So, should I stay or leave? I'm confused.'

  1. My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I can't continue this way; we need to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
Ready to share some workplace humor?

The modern workplace has seen the rise of various unique work cultures and personalities - from startup geeks to overworked techies. Finding the appropriate workplace jokes and ice breakers to share with your co-workers will depend on your work and the personalities of the people on your team. Use the Icebreaker Flow to lighten the mood at work and bring some fun.

Every workplace has its unique blend of drab and comical situations, and many employees often have lots of good stories. So, while this list isn't exhaustive, we think these jokes will hit the right notes when the time comes for those much-needed laughs.

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Yes, at Assembly, security is a top priority. Each quarter, we have ongoing security work that is everyone’s responsibility. While we maintain a strong security posture, it was important for us to prove to our customers that we do everything we claim to do. This led us to pursue a SOC 2 Type II report that would provide evidence of our compliance with industry gold-standard security practice.

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